Watch with Me

Then  saith he unto them, My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death: tarry ye here, and watch with me.

Matthew 26:38 (KJV)

In this part I will like to mention some unkind, insensitive and unnecessary comments by church folk, friends and men of God. 

During my husbands one year memorial/ thanksgiving service to appreciate God's faithfulness to us in that difficult year the pastor preached an excellent,heart war mining and encouraging message he talked about great men of God who in our opinion might be considered to have died early but said God was concerned with us fulfilling purpose and it's not how well but how long. He spoke of John the  Baptist dying early but having fulfilled his assignment this resonated so well with me because God had ministerd that to me and I included John the Baptist life and death in my book it was like he had read the book but then it was only made public the evening before and he was not there because he was coming from a journey. A senior pastor got up to lead prayers for the family after the message and said something about John the Baptist being beheaded because he did what he wasn't asked to do that is rebuking Herod for taking his brothers wife. So 'if John the Baptist had kept to his assignment he wouldn't have died' I couldn't believe my ears. To start with I believe God expects us to speak out against injustice and sin. I read a book once and the author said for every generation of evil doers and wicked people that includes leaders or should i say especially leaders that He will judge the christians who lived at that time and sat on the face doing nothing. No wonder in Nigeria today some people think some pastors are feeding off corrupt government officials instead of rebuking them or simply telling them the truth of God's word and whatHe expects of them. Secondly, even if you believe what this pastor said, was a memorial service a good place to say so? To me it was so insensitive and that's putting it nicely.

A widow shared how either at her husband's funeral or somebody else's funeral  someone shared from Isaiah 57:1 it talks of the righteous dying young to deliver them from the evil to come another Scripture I found so comforting. A pastor now comes up to say there is nothing like an evil day and the person who died  had died an untimely death. Can you beat that! Talk of insensitive. Why do some pastors talk like that? A pastor is a Shepherd and should be a lover of people, tender, loving. At a meeting about 2 years ago a sister shared how she had got to a point where she was suicidal and would have committed suicide but God intervened through a pastor. The pastor ministering got up to rebuke her saying she would have gone to hell and he wanted to tell anyone who thinks like that or says stuff like that they were toying with God's judgement blah blah blah.  Incidentally this lady had been sitting next to me and had shared me her story.  Her parents were wealthy but the fathers siblings had taken e everything  and subjected them to a very hard life of abject poverty and struggles my heart broke for her. Thankfully people hushed the pastor.

I remember a pastor telling me they needed to pray for me and separate me from the dead presumably my husband. In respect and because I was meeting him for the first time or so I didn't answer. As far as I am concerned I have never been attached to the dead it is normal to think of my husband, miss him or dream about him that doesn't mean I am connected to the dead. The Bible says to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord based on this and many other scriptures I know once a believer dies such a person is in heaven. 

It's not just pastors but brethren in church can be the same or even worse I won't share because in the course of talking on the reproach of widowhood I have cited some instances. In my book I have a chapter titled 'Watch with Me' taken from today's scripture Jesus was about to face a painful, shameful ad horrifying death on the cross it was the most difficult moment of His life and he needed His diciples to watch with Him, pray with Him and just be there for Him in a difficult time. He didn't need judgment or theology. If Jesus could need  people to be withHim in that difficult time it goes to say that we all do. When we do find our selves in the company of those who are grieving we should be sensitive and relate with them in love instead of trying to prove we are ' spiritually correct' or whatever it is so called men of God or Christians try to prove when they do what they do. One hallmark of christianity is love and if there is ever a time we need to show love it's in times like that. 

Avoid insensitive and unnecessary statements and practices- show some love