And after that Hezron was dead in Caleb–ephratah, then Abiah Hezron's wife bare him Ashur the father of Tekoa.1 Chronicles 2:24-25 (KJV)
It breaks my heart any time I hear of a young widow that had young children at home when her husband died. Often times these women are in their twenties, thirties or even forties. I was 42 when i lost my husband, my youngest was 7 and oldest 16. I remember thinking how in the world was i going to get all of them through school the first child was just about writing her WAEC (Final High School exams). When I thought of the fact that the baby of the house was only in primary 2 (second grade) and imagined how many more years it would take for her to finally get to the University it seemed sooooo loooong. Way too long to raise them on my own. It felt like it would take forever just endless years of making decisions about their education, years of handling the successes , milestones and challenges. There would PTA meetings, visiting days, graduations and other school activities. Then of course career choices and weddings. The joy and thrill that accompanied such thoughts of the children's development just wasn't there anymore i didn't want to do it alone I just couldn't do it.
We were married for almost 18 years and though it felt so short looking back I am thankful for the time because I know of women who had been widows after fewer years some hadn't even had children,others had babies, toddlers and very young children and some where pregnant when their husbands died. Truth be told no matter how long you've been married even if its for forty years or more and you have grandchildren loss is still painful and hard. But when you are only starting out it can be difficult taking on the role of mum and dad watching,your children grieve or grow up not knowing their dad or having him around to do all the things fathers do can be difficult and possibly frightening. Think of the authority and leadership fathers provide, discipline issues, your son or sons having a mentor to help them become good and responsible men plus the girls also need their dads.
As we celebrated the children's day 27th May I wanted to dedicate today's post to widows raising children on their own. Reading Ferree Hardy's post on the Widow's Christian Place blog a few days back she shared something similar and that's where I got the amazing Bible verse from its a reminder that there have always been young widows raising children and God is mindful of them. Ferree went on to say Ashur the child born after his father's death became the founding father of Tekoa this means he was successful for me what it means is that if Abiah (his mother who was widowed while pregnant)could do it then you can. It may not be always easy and the challenges are there but all you need is to trust God to step in and also to bring people to help you along the way,
All my children were old enough to know what happened and each grieved in their own way. I was thankful they knew their dad and he was part oftheir lives for a sometime albeit a short time. As we worked through our loss I encouraged the children to see God not only as their heavenly father but as their earthly father. He says He is the father of the fatherless. When there are decisions to make we bring them to Him as the head of our home, when we didn't know how school fees would be paid or school and other supplies needed we talked to the big daddy. I have told God over and over again that I can't do it alone and I leave things to Him asking for His leading and help. Guess what He has not failed me. There are times friends of their dad / family friends take interest in the children and spend time talking with them and advising them.
My conclusion is that prayer works and God cares! I encourage you to do the same and though there will be times you will wish for a physical dad you can rest assured that with God's help your children will turn out right and be what God created them to be. They will be a source of joy and comfort to you and if the Lord feels they need to have another physical dad He'll work it out in His perfect time.