Cursed be he that perverteth the judgment of the stranger, fatherless, and widow. And all the people shall say, Amen.
Deuteronomy 27:19 (KJV)
I'll continue from where I stopped last week
3) The widow could be married off to a sibling or relation of her husband- I heard a widow recount her story on radio and she said a particular relation who was suppose to inherit her slept with her and discarded her. She was handed down to others who kept sleeping with her but not making any commitment to her. She did so because the only way she and her children could be given anything was if she remained married in that family. Another reason this is done is if the man did not have children or a male child the child she has by his relation is considered his son. Another widow had to sleep with some of her husbands colleagues and boss to get paid his benefits. I remember a widow we interviewed years back who had two girls and she had to go get pregnant ( don't think it was by any relation of the husband) because she had to produce a male child that will be considered heir to the husband before anything was given to her. It took about 10 or more years of legal and spiritual battles and her giving birth to a boy out of wedlock to get anything. The brother in-law had taken everything and locked her out of her home.
This is the 21st century and women are by no means property that are owned by a man and treated as if they were a piece of furniture meant to be used and discarded. Men that insist on holding on to these negative practices usually do so because they are selfish, wicked and greedy they usually don't mourn their brother but focus on what they can get from what he left in my opinion they are a sad representation of what a man should be. Sadly women are at the forefront of ensuring widows go through these practices.
The list goes on but I believe we all get the gist. In concluding this part I will say a word to perpetrators of these wicked practices that add to the sorrow of widows and sets them up for reproach. Life is in the hands of God and regardless of the circumstances under which a person dies if God doesn't allow it the person won't die. So please don't label a woman a killer especially when deep down you know she is not but because you have eyes on her husband's property you afflict and reproach her. Also desist from afflicting her in the name of tradition. If you cant help her then let her be. It may look like she is helpless and vulnerable and you can get away it but remember today's scripture you may just be bringing a curse on your self and maybe your generations after you. Deuteronomy 10 :18 says God ensures the widow and fatherless get justice. Exodus 22:22-24 is frightening but God doesn't just say things He follows through on what He says. God is solidly behind that widow and He will fight for her. You may have the strength, financial muscle or influence to face men and have things go your way but with God it is an entirely different ball game...you can't fight Him.
A word for widows who are victims of all these. Please don't be like a sheep led to the slaughter have your own people around you even when going to the village for burial. Families and churches should learn to stand by their sisters or daughters. I refused to wear only 3 or 6 clothes it was a decision I had to make. I wasn't rude but I was firm. Some times widows put themselves in a I am so helpless position in the name of I am to traumatized to speak for my self or stand for what is right. Other times she feels by resisting or speaking out it will be termed as acceptance of guilt or she will be considered as not mourning since she has the strenght to fight injustices. All these are just part of the schemes of the wicked to keep you under. The violence against persons bill has been passed into law in Nigeria and it includes sanctions for negative widowhood practices. There are many CIvil Society Groups and organizations working to help such people but sometimes you must reach out. The law is on your side, many decent God fearing people are on your side and above all God Almighty is on your side so don't suffer in silence speak out and seek help.
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