Gratitude

In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

1Thessalonians  5:18

Many years ago my mum read out the content of a letter she had received from a Baptist missionary family. They had been family friends in Jos, North Central  Nigeria and even after they left had kept in touch. This family had been through a lot, as a  child, their daughter's class mate pulled away a chair she was going to sit on and she fell on the floor. What was meant to be an innocent prank led to her being paralyzed from the waist down.  From then on, Her life was characterized with surgeries, pain and I guess some level of limitations i.e not being able to move around normally etc. Well  in this letter written by her mom or her around Christmas time they mentioned she had been through 3 surgeries) ( by this time she was a grown woman) and they also mentioned  the health/physical challenges she had been through that year. As my mom read out the letter I was struck by it's tone, it wasn't sad, complaining and neither did it have any form of self pity instead it was an account of the year that was ending to a friend. I guess the letter contained other information on other things about how their year had been but honestly i don't remember any of that but I have remembered the tone of that letter and it's  conclusion which read 'there  is so much to be grateful for and so little to complain about' wow! I must have been in my early teens or younger when my mom read that letter to us but over thirty years after that letter remains one of the most powerful messages I have heard on gratitude in my life. 

I remember how we were so touched by the content especially all this woman and her family had been through but in it all they saw SO MUCH to be thankful for and little to complain about.  Put my self in their shoes yours truly would have probably had an end of year pity party 'complete with cake and ice cream'. In fact I had one of those recently. I was reading a book and the author shared testimonies of God's goodness to her and how her hubby and children made her last birthday an amazing one with a diamond studded wrist watch and surprise party. I was happy for her then at a point I began comparing my life to hers and my many blessings seemed to fade in the face of her testimonies and blessings. My birthday was round the corner and I wasn't going to have my husband buying me an expensive gift and having a surprise party for me. In fact it's something I will ever experience again from Tunbosun. My husband is gone and my children are still young and dependent on me so they can't afford expensive gifts.

Well the author dedicated a part of her book to gratitude and in it she said something phenomenal and it had to do with thanking God for the things we don't want that we don't have. That jolted me back to reality..what are some of the things I don't want and don't have? Sickness or some terminal disease, way ward/ rebellious children, not being able to cater for my children....the list is endless...think about it!

My birthday came and at 12.am my second daughter came into my room to say Happy Birthday, then my phone beeped it was my first daughter who was in school, she sent the most touching and heartwarming Birthday wish 'to the best mom ever', later on I got a text message from my son saying I was the most awesome person he knows. In the morning the baby of the house walked into my room wished me Happy birthday and gave me a wrapped present. It was a beautiful bead necklace with earrings and a bracelet. She had made it for her school class  project.  Before I left for work my son transferred the most amazing video he had made for me using family pictures. It said 'I am Halima and this is my Story' He got pictures beginning from my childhood and told the story of my life in few minutes he included a number of his dad's pictures and talked about 'when he slept'  and how distraught I was then I decided to go on at this point he had pictures of my book 'Beyond the shadow of Death' i was simply blown away. The day was characterized by phone calls my mom,brother,even school mates I had not talked with in years, text messages. Wattsapp messages, Facebook messages my goodness, I felt like a celebrity!I felt so so loved. My pity party gave way to 'I  am so sorry Lord' I was overwhelmed with gratitude. I may not have received diamonds like the other lady but I had people who loved and appreciated me, who thought about me and took time to reach out and wish me well. 

It is so easy to loose track of God 's blessings and love when we focus on things that are 'not right' in our lives. But if we deliberately decide to count our blessings and name them one by one indeed it will surprise us what the Lord has done. When you suffer loss there is a tendency to see the negative I can't imagine how many times I have asked why my husband died, at a time I felt we loved and served God with all our hearts and He paid us back with evil. It just didn't  make sense. God wasn't angry with me and He's not angry with you if you have had similar thoughts. He understands and feels your pain. Today He is asking you to trust Him with this tragedy and with your future. 

It maybe a few days,weeks, months or years since you lost your husband and you are still standing. As you go along on this journey of grief look for little things or milestones if you will to be thankful for. ( it may take time) and thank Him. There is a Nigerian saying that when you are thankful you receive more.  To me showing gratitude means trust, you are saying Lord I don't get this but I choose to trust you knowing  my life and future is secure in you and You will make even this work for my good.

Prayer

Father I thank you for your precious child who is reading this. Please touch her (his) broken heart as only you can. Bring her to a point where she is able to thank you for the blessings you give her daily. Turn her mourning into dancing like you promised and give her reasons to thank you and rejoice in you always.