Making Thanksgiving a Choice

Psalm 147:1, 3,7

1    Praise the Lord

     How good it is to sing praises to our God,

    how pleasant and fitting to praise him!

3 He heals the broken hearted  and 

      Binds up their wounds

7.  Sing to the Lord with joyful praise;

      Make music to our God on the harp.

      

As those  in the United States celebrate Thanksgiving this week the concept of a day or time set aside to give thanks resonates with people around the world. In Nigeria most churches have their annual  thanksgiving services and programmes between November and December.  Whatever the case I believe it is good to look back as the year gradually comes to an end and give thanks to God for His blessings this year.

For a widow or someone who has lost a loved one within the year this may be a very difficult time. Is there really anything to be thankful for? Some people who have suffered loss are just coming to terms with their loss and many times don't feel up to all the merriment and excitement. This is understandable and if you are in that place in your grief journey where you can't do thanksgiving or other festivities it is okay and normal. The loss of a loved one is not something you get over easily but thankfully you will eventually get past the shock, nagging pain and grief . 

My advise to people in this situation is not to try to do things or be part of celebrations just because that is the norm. Do what you feel up to and what you can handle. If you want a quiet low key celebration then so be it. But if you think being alone will make it worse you could find out from family or  friends if you can spend sometime with them or invite someone you know might need company over. If you still have children at home,  make sure you involve them in your decisions and plans and also consider what will be best for them and what they would like to do. 

The problem sometimes is that you may be disappointed if someone you ask declines for one reason or the other. The fear of this makes us withdraw from asking. If those you ask cant make it, don't take it personal or think they don't want to be with you.  It might be because they already have something lined up. After being widowed I reached out to some widows knowing they would understand me some responded and we are friends today. 

If you have gone past the one year or two year mark since losing your loved one and you are still struggling with holidays and celebrations especially thanksgiving Its probably because holidays are usually family time so having a family that is not complete is usually difficult but you need to make deliberate efforts and take definite steps towards being able to be part of the holidays and enjoy them.  It then becomes a choice you have to make . A choice to be thankful.  

The hymn writer wrote' count your blessings name them one by one and it will surprise you what the Lord  has done. ' I can assure you that if you look back to January this year you will find that you have so much to be thankful for. When I am faced with situations where I want to complain and lament I begin to speak out and say things like 'Lord this is hard but You are good, I am struggling with being thankful because I miss my husband so much and i just want him back. But I know you love me and you have been good, I know your thoughts and plans toward me are of good not of evil. Help me Lord to love you and thank you, I am thankful for........' I go on to think of things God has done then thank Him for them. For me it helps get me to a place where I really am grateful. Sometimes I speak through tears but it helps. God has kept my children and I alive and in good health, they are all in school, our bills are being paid, I have family, friends and church folk who have been great. God has shown up in some tight situations so I am truly grateful. Today as the year comes to an end my heart is filled with genuine thanks to my God.

One of the reasons to give thanks in verse 3 of our passage is because God heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds. You can give him thanks for that. Thank Him because He will heal your heart. Thank Him in anticipation because you know He will make your  tomorrow alright.  Thanksgiving shifts your focus from your grief or challenges and focuses it on God who is big enough to take care of whatever comes your way. It also touches the heart of God when you can thank Him in the storm and causes  Him to rise up on your behalf to do great things in your life.