Loneliness 1

LONELINESS 1

Psalms 25:16

Turn to me and be gracious to me,

for I am lonely and afflicted.

The last couple of weeks have been a whirl wind of activities for me both at work and in my church and personal life. At work there was so much going on and climaxing in our biennial Zuma Film Festival. So much planning, paper work, meetings blah blah blah…!

The day after the festival was day 2 of the World Economic Forum holding in Abuja where I live, government had given 3 work free days to government workers in Abuja. So I wake up in the morning and just lay in bed. A holiday was a welcome relief or was it? Here I was lying in bed and from deep within the all too familiar feeling since the death of my beloved husband was rising - sadness and loneliness! My phone had been ringing quite a bit since I got up, a colleague trying to find out one thing or the other, a guest needing their airport pick up confirmed and so on but through the phone calls, morning devotion with my 2 children who were home it lingered. Then I realised it had been there since the night before in the midst of all the activities and the Closing Ceremony of the Festival. Loneliness! There seemed to be a streak of sadness also. You know the kind that won’t go away and you just can’t shake off.

Outwardly I looked okay talking, laughing and doing whatever needed to be done but deep down I wasn’t okay. I had been up and about but the loneliness remained even in the midst of people. Loneliness defies the presence of people and activity. Then came the news of the passing of an acquaintance husband then a friend’s husband also passed on. There is a way such news hits home reminding you of ‘that day’ my heart went out to these women and their families knowing well the pains of loss. This made me feel ‘sadder’.

Looking back I realize part of the reason I felt this way was because there had not been anyone to really share the pains of disappointment and the joys of success with. Life is meant to be shared so when the one person to share with is not there it tends to steal the joy out of life making the down moments more difficult and dampening the high moments. Success is sweeter when shared with those that are proud of you. One of the pains of widowhood is loneliness no one to listen to you and no one to share the nitty gritty details of life with. When I lost my husband life seemed like an endless lonely journey and I didn’t want it, it would be too unbearable.

Loneliness is a reality we must come to terms with but like all we have to deal with in life we must not be overcome by it. The psalmist cried out to the Lord because he knew God could do something about his loneliness. It means God knows and cares and will do something about your loneliness. Perhaps this is the time to cultivate God’s presence like never before. Over time I have learnt certain ways God helps us deal with loneliness,  a closer relationship with the Lord, new & old friends, family, a new love and remarriage, being committed to a worthy project, reaching out to the hurting, lonely and less privileged or learning to enjoy ‘yourself’ and the times you have to be alone. I will share some more in my next post.

For now let’s turn to God in prayer like the Psalmist did.

Dear God, I bring your child before you today. I ask you to turn to her and be gracious to her for she is lonely and afflicted. Only you can fill the void in her heart and life, so I ask you to fill it. Surround her with your love and peace and let her know she can count on you to be always there with her. In Jesus most precious name I pray. Amen!